Sara Rabinovitch - Sara Dubo MD

I apologize at the onset that this is as longas it is.

When I was in high school in the latter part of the 1960's my girlfriend was a tall beautiful girl named Marge Rabinovitch, and her parents, who I grew to know well, and who became formative in the direction my life has taken, were Drs Ralph Rabinovitch and Sara Dubo.  This is dedicated to Dr. Dubo (I've never been able to call Sara Rabinovitch anything but Dr. Dubo), although so many of my memories of her are inextricably entwined with those of her husband, Dr. R. 

I found the Rabinovitch's kind, cheerful and gracious, but also both inspiring and a bit intimidating to a modest midwestern kid like myself.  Dr. Dubo was very warm, but she conveyed a no nonsense self- assured presense that made me consider everything she said seriously.  I remember she referred to the grandmother of my friend Hugh as "a great lady".  I had always liked the elderly Mrs. McVay, but now I knew why- she was a great lady- Dr. Dubo had said so!  Dr. Dubo and her husband were the associate director and director of Hawthorn Center and visiting Marge I was soon introduced to an unfolding work of chld mental health and public service.  I remember Dr. Dubo swooping into the house after a day at Hawthorn and announcing "I was a witch on wheels today!"  I couldn't imagine how this lady I liked so much could be what she said, but then the way she said it...it was better just to take it in.  Another time she laughed so good naturedly starting her story, "I felt like such a lady today!"  She told us about a new staff member warning her to be careful going to talk to an angry large girl at the center.  Dr. Dubo was so touched by his concern for her entering a situation she was completely comfortable handling.  

Her insightful directness could be startling.  She and I were sitting and talking about something, I forget what, on their back porch when Dr. Dubo looked at me very directly--"Dale," she said, "do you really think the most important thing in life is to be happy?"  I was thrown off ...I mean wasn't it?  But if Dr. Dubo said this I had something serious to consider.  Looking back I treasure those disorienting and somehow important moments.

A wonderful set of memories of Dr. Dubo for me involve food.  I ate there many times when Marge and I were dating, but when the highschool romance was over and Marge went away to college, my love of Dr. Dubo's wonderful cooking continued, and so did my visits and the dinners.  "Now Dale, would you like another helping?" she'd say.  But of course!  "What's in it?" I'd ask.  "Just be quiet and eat" was the reply.  No problem.  "She cooks Continental," Dr. R. observed solemnly to me.  Well whatever that meant, I knew I was all for it!  I believe that my love of cooking as an adult had a good share of its origin at the dining room table of the Rabinovitch's.  And for conversation the meals there were like no other I had known.  Mental health, politics, the Viet Nam War, the news from the state legislature-- I mostly listened as Dr. R and Dr. Dubo discussed the issues, but gradually ventured to offer my own views to.  They encouraged it. 

Dr. Dubo was like her husband a pioneer in child psychiatry, and my first real job (I guess they put in a good word for me) was as a driver for Hawthorn Center.  I often drove children residing there from their residence in E Building, a remodeled building on the next door state hospital grounds, to the Main Building of Hawthorn on Haggerty Road across from the community college.  Sometimes the patients I gave rides to were teenage girls who were Dr. Dubo's cases.  I enjoyed the kids and they seemed to feel free talking to the young college guy giving them a ride.  They really respected and even were proud of their doctor.  One very bright girl said to me that while many people seemed to think Dr. Dubo was very strict, she thought she was one of the nicest people she had known.  Very earnestly she said, "I really don't know what I would do without my doctor."  That impressed me.  I loved the job and was more and more influenced toward medicine and ultimately child psychiatry. 

The last thing I want to mention is the quality of Dr. Dubo I feel most indebted to her for, and that is her kindness.  I believe, as a physician, that compassion is good, but I have learned that real genuine kindness not only preceeds compassion, but goes well beyond it.  Dr. Dubo was so kind to others--her friends, the friends of her children, her patients and their parents, and her many colleagues and trainees.  I feel most fortunate to have been one of the recipients of this extraordinarally strong and talented woman's gift of kindness.  A medical student recently rotated with me doiing psychiatric consults on the medical wards of Allegheny Hospital in Pittsburgh.  He sent me a note after he finished saying he enjoyed the experience, but he particularly valued observing the kindness he said I showed the patients.  I don't write this to praise myself, but I realized when I read the card that this wasn't something I had learned during my training in Pittsburgh.  It was learned, and hopefully well, through knowing and observing my first, and best, teachers in life, Dr. Ralph Rabinovitch and his wife, the person I honor today, Dr. Sara Dubo.       

All of my memories of Sara are fond ones.  I don't believe I ever heard her raise her voice.  From playing gin rummy with her and the other grandchildren in the Cayman islands to the times we spent together when I would to come visit from Ann Arbor, I don't believe I ever hear her raise her voice.  Sitting in Sara's living room talking with her and Ralph after a home-cooked meal is an experience I am fortunate to have had.  Sara was a smart, generous, and caring person with a wonderful sense of humor.  Her cooking is also something I will never forget.  I am grateful for the interest she and Ralph took in me and for the time we spent together. 

I first met Sara and Ralph in 1975 when they came to Marge's and my graduation. (Marge has been my very best friend for 35 years!) I felt that I knew Sara and Ralph even before I officially met them since they would advise us on our graduate courses, help us with Professor Chall's reading course and Sara would always send food. Sara often distinquised herself through her culinary talents. I know that on nearly every family trip Sara would pack one or possibly two suitcases full of home-cooked gourmet meals to be enjoyed by the whole clan. She often brought her delectable delights when she came to visit Marge and her twin granddaughters in Boston. I must say that the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree, because on nearly every trip to Michigan, Marge leaves Logan Airport carting coolers full of frozen meals for the Rabinovitch freezer. I also remember Sara's creativity and handiwork. During all of the years that Annie and Sara were small, two adorable little costumes would arrive each Halloween for the girls. My favorite was Sara's rendition of Peter Cotton Tail replete with buttons, whiskers and a bushy tail. The degree of work and attention to detail were astounding. Again I would have to say: Like mother like daughter because when Marge either plans a birthday, wraps a present, or does a project every last detail is accounted for and the recipients are overwhelmed and in awe . I also remember Sara's devotion to her profession. As a psychologist I know some of her impressive work with children and with patients having anorexia. I am always amazed at the courage and fortitude that Sara must have had to be one of only a few women to attend Medical school in the early 1900s. I know that she had only one or two little dresses that she would carefully wash, iron and hang up to dry each and every night at the boarding house in which she stayed. I must say Sara's daughter Marge puts the same amount of time and effort into her work with the children and young adults whom she tutors. Sara also genourously donated her time for causes in which she believed ranging from politics to education to mental health issues. Who do you think is knocking on doors in the New Hampshire primary handing out leaflets for Obama? None other than Sara's one and only daughter, Marge. Most of all I will remember Sara for the love she gave to all of her family members. It is rare to see a couple as happy as Sara and Ralph. Their love for each other was always immediately apparent by the twinkle in their eyes, their smiles for each other and Sara's heartwarming laugh. I know that Sara could not have been a better mother, for she has given me a friend beyond compare. A friend, who like Sara, loves with her whole heart, knocks herself out for others and who is a gift to the world. And although Sara has passed on, the love she has nurtured and shared will always be present as it is passed down from generation to generation from Marge and Mark, to Annie and Sarah and Leah and Matt, and now to the baby, the first of hopefully many great grandchildren. So although you are no longer with us in person, Sara, you will always be with us in spirit and in our hearts. Thank you for all that you have given. You will be sorely missed.

Whenever someone takes my temperature, I think of Grandma Sara.  Grandma Sara had a special ability to determine if I had a fever by putting her lips on my forehead.  I've never had any other doctor take my temperature that way.  She probably could have just as easily taken my temperature with a thermometer, or felt my forehead with her hand, but I think it made the "checkup" a little bit special to have her do it that way.  And if I was, in fact, feverish, her method made me feel better.      

 

A lot of my memories of Grandma Sara relate to eatng and traveling.  She gave me my first buttered saltines, which I ate alongside Sara and Annie.  She and Ralph generously took us to Alaska on a cruise to celebrate their 50 years of being married.  On that cruise, I learned how to play Gin Rummy through one-on-one sessions with Grandma Sara.  She always found time to hang out with the kids. 

  

On that cruise, I also learned what it meant to have a truly fulfilling marriage. 

 

As someone who just got married 4 weeks ago, I can only hope to have as great a marriage that she and Ralph have had.  I dont know of any other two individuals who are so compatible with each other.  She and Ralph have set an example for me to follow and I am thankful for being part of their lives.  Grandma Sara will be missed.   

 

  

I wanted to send my love to all in the family by sharing a few memories I have of Sara. The first thing that comes to mind when I think of Sara is how welcoming she was to me, how loving and kind she was as a person and how she had a wonderful laugh. All of my memories with Sara take place in the house on 49th street in Minneapolis, MN, where she taught me how to make beautiful art projects and let my creativity run free. Leah, Sara and I made shrinky dinks, paper and pen holders out of garden gloves and my favorite BIG flowery hats. (I Have to say that in going through all my stuff this last year I have found many of the projects we made together and smiled at how much fun we had and that I still have them.) After Flo and Papa David (my grandparents) passed away Sara let me know, and showed me that she was willing to be an additional grandparent in my life. She always made me feel welcome. For Halloween one year Sara made Leah and I each "Real" doctor bags. They were amazing! I also remember her wonderful laugh, she always showed such love and joy when Ralph told stories and jokes. Even though I have not seen her in many years I think of her often and will truly miss her. I want to thank her for all that she has shared with me over the years and all of you for sharing her with me.